Facing the Grief of a Loved One

In the past three weeks I’ve learned about two people I know experiencing the death of a child, one experiencing the death of their favorite niece , one experiencing the death of a best friend, and one other experiencing the death of a former spouse.  Four were unexpected with families having no time to prepare. One was expected with experience showing you’re still not prepared.

Death is hard; a child dying parents is unimaginable.

Generally, we are not taught at all on how to handle death in a way that has us coming out stronger on the other side.  We don’t know how to deal with grief and as a result are often stuck dealing with confusing emotions, relationships that struggle and lives that can feel like they just don’t work.  

Over the years, with no thought on how some things might be useful to others, I’ve been gifted with a couple of writings, a summary of Psalm 23 and a couple of books that have offered me solace and that I’ve shared with others in the hope they experience the same

I’ve yet to meet a person, including myself, who is comfortable with grief – even with their best friends.  Many who are grieving don’t know how to share the upset; many on the outside don’t know how to support the process of grieving. 

It’s sometimes difficult; if a person learns of the death a while after the fact to know whether or not  to acknowledge it thinking that healing may have begun and we’re only impeding the process.  This is the situation I’m in in one of the situations mentioned at the top of this blog.  I’m choosing to share the readings and one of the books feeling it’s better to send the condolences than not.  This is a personal choice – not necessarily right for everyone.

I’m including the titles of the books for anyone interested and both are available from Amazon.

  “How to Survive the Loss of a Love” by Harold Bloomfield and two others

  “The Grief Recovery Handbook” by John James and Russell Friedman

As for the readings, if you’re interested, please let me know and I’ll email them to you.  I can be reached at debbaker@londonbakerlaw.com or at 813-586-1DEB (1332)

Be blessed.

Deb

This article is a service of London Baker Law, Debbie London Baker, Esq. Here for Your Family Today; Here for Your Loved Ones Tomorrow.

With One Tick of a Clock Your Child Becomes a Legal Adult

For all the milestones which parents give attention – birth, first step,  learner’s permit, driver’s license - there is one about which most parents miss the importance – the tick of the clock that sees our child go from ‘child’ to ‘legal adult’ in the eyes of the law.

 Until a child’s 18th birthday, we can make find out about our children’s grades in school, we can know about their medical situation, we can make financial decisions and handle emergencies that may arise because we hold the legal card of them being a ‘minor’.

NO LONGER THE CASE beginning at one second after midnight of the day they turn 18.

What happens NOW? – when this person is now an adult in the eyes of the law and needs medical attention – at home or, worse, far away and in an emergency.

Whether an 18 year old goes to college or into the work place, moves out or stays at home, it’s important to consider the legal implications a financial situation, accident or medical emergency might have on your ability to participate in important decision making for your child.

Once your child turns 18, that child, from a legal perspective, is no more attached to you than a stranger, making communication anything, including  medical issues tricky if your child is incapacitated and not able to grant permission on their own.

In Florida, there are three legal documents which can make all the difference.

HIPPA Waiver - Essentially like the permission slip you had before their 18th birthday to, have access to their personal medical information.

Living Will-Designated Health Care Surrogate - Designates a parent or other trusted adult to make medical decisions for the young adult.  If your child lives out of state, be sure the forms follow the laws of Florida as well as the laws of the state in which your child lives.

Durable Power of Attorney (DPOA) - Allows the parent or another trusted adult to take care of personal business in the event the adult child is unable to do so. This form would allow the parent to take care of such important tasks such as signing tax returns, paying bills, and accessing bank accounts for the incapacitated adult child.

Milestones come quickly.  Don’t let this one pass without vigilance for your new ‘adult’ child’s protection.  We’re here to help your family establish the legal and medical protections the whole family needs to live the lives you desire.

This article is a service of London Baker Law, Debbie London Baker, Esq. Here for Your Family Today; Here for Your Loved Ones Tomorrow. We are not a one-and-done law firm.  We want to be like you having a lawyer in the family.  We work to be sure that you make informed and empowered decisions about life and death, for yourself and the people you love.  That's why we offer a Family Legacy Planning Session from which you’ll be more financially organized than you’ve ever been before enabling you to make all the best choices for the people you love. Begin by calling our office today at 813-586-1332 (1DEB) to schedule your Family Legacy Planning Session. Mention where you got this article to find out how to get your Family Legacy Planning Session – a $750 value - at no charge.

Best Mother's Day Gift Ever? Protecting Your Children

Best Mother’s Day Gift Ever?  Protecting Minor Children (PMC) Plan

Flower commercials have been flooding TV and newspapers for a couple of weeks reminding us that Mother’s Day is Sunday, 13 May.

Before a large chunk of money is spent on something that wilts and dies in a week or so, consider a gift that is TRULY priceless:  a plan that provides Moms and Dads peace of mind for taking care of something unimaginable – something happening to Mom and Dad preventing them from coming home.  Our PMC plan exists so that parents can know their children will be well taken care of by people chosen by them AND who the children know, love and trust.

We've all seen the news stories of moms and dads who leave their children with a babysitter, get into a terrible accident and don’t make it home. The babysitter calls and calls and gets no answer. The police get called and the children have to be placed with Child Protective Services. – what every parent is most afraid of happening.

We've seen the stories of children placed in the care of people they barely know just because they are related by blood since there was no plan in place that dictated who would take on this incredible responsibility. And we’ve seen the fall out of family fights created when mom and dad didn’t make a plan and the family couldn’t agree on what would happen.  Or in the worst case, what happens when there is no family available.

In all cases, it’s left up to a Judge decide when mom and dad haven’t and can’t!

We know you don't want this for your children (or grandchildren, nieces or nephews).  THIS is where a PMC Plan can ensure it never does - not for anyone in YOUR family!

The plan includes:

Legal documents to name short-term guardians

Letters to those short-term guardians so the people you've named will know just what to do if called upon.

Instructions to everyone who takes care of your kids as to exactly what to do if you are in an accident … so there's never any question about who to call.

Legal documents to name long-term guardians

Letters to your long-term guardians letting them know what to do if called upon.

Instructions and guidelines for your long-term guardians on how you want your kids to be raised...make sure your kids are raised with your values, insights, stories and experience.

Medical powers of attorney for your minor children so the next time they travel without you or you travel without them; you know they'll get the medical care they need.

A custom, personalized I.D. card for your wallet stating that you have minor children at home and who should be contacted if you are in an accident.

Debbie London Baker is an attorney committed to Family Legacy Planning - Here for You Today. Here for Your Loved Ones Tomorrow.  In honor of Mother’s Day, London Baker Law will, if you are one of the first ten families to get on our calendar, prepare a stand-alone PMC Plan for families who need them. We are also waiving our standard Family Legacy Planning Session fee for those first ten families.  AND, even if you don’t create a comprehensive PMC Plan with us, we will, during the session, help you name legal guardians for your children.  Call us at 813-586-1332 (1DEB) to get scheduled.